Some medical terms explained

Had a lovely walk at JBL (the local soccer park) today.  It's a pretty flat half mile walk except for having to scale the north face of the Eiger to get from field level to concession stand level in the middle of the walk.
Be that as it may, I thought it might be a help to you if I were to translate part of a recent medical report for you.  This is the surgeon's report on the removal of the catheter through which I received chemo drugs and gave blood samples while in hospital.  I was more than happy to have it removed.

IR CVC REMOVAL TUNNELED, 1/10/2017 10:12 AM
  



CONSENT: The specific risks and benefits of the procedure were explained to the patient, including pain, bleeding, infection, and damage to adjacent structures. The patient and present family members expressed understanding of these risks and subsequently provided written consent.
  
SEDATION: None. (Make the bastard suffer)
  
TECHNIQUE:
  
The patient was placed supine on a stretcher and was prepped and draped in the usual sterile fashion. The right anterior chest wall was anesthetized overlying the tunneled portion of the transition catheter (this involved using a 12" needle that hurt like hell as it ploughed its way across my chest). Using lidocaine Hydro dissection and blunt dissection the cuff was removed from surrounding tissue. (I believe that there was a knee placed in my chest at some point while the surgeon leant back and pulled with all his might.)The catheter was removed (along with my right lung) and pressure was held over the venous entry site until hemostasis was achieved (i.e. my blood was no longer squirting all over the ceiling).  One unit of platelets were given during the procedure for platelet count of 41 checked that morning.
  
At the end of the procedure, sponge counts were complete. The procedure was well-tolerated (Not from where I was watching.  This would have to be somewhere in my top 10 "Things I would rather never do again" list) without complication. The patient left interventional radiology in stable condition (i.e. feeling like I'd been kicked in the chest by a horse).
  
CONCLUSION:
 
Successful removal of a right IJ approach tunneled trifusion catheter.
  

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