Day +13: There's no place like home
Made it! I had an odd night in hospital last night as I was no longer attached to Marvin. The nurses still came and took some blood to see if I was in good shape for my minor op later in the day. They also changed the battery on my monitor and came and hooked me up to a drop of oxygen when my oxygenated hemoglobin concentration fell into the lower 80s. Awake and ready to roll at 7, I finally stirred out of bed at about 7:30. Nothing much to do before my port removal at 11 so all the time in the world. Time to order breakfast.
Breakfast always takes a while to arrive so bags of time for an approximation to a shower.
Not one of the 15 minute ones I've been treating myself to but a sort one targeted entirely at washing my hair while I still have some. I've lost, at a guess, half my hair but from all over my head so it just looks like I'm thinning out. After much time shrouding my sundry bits of electronics in Press&Seal and wrapping myself in a couple of towels, I sat on the shower seat and squirted away. As I was finishing, the nurse arrived with my morning pills and stuff so I got dressed and listened carefully to what she had to say - none of which I can now remember, of course.
Next thing I knew, there was a knock on the room door and a guy with a gurney arrived to take me down to have my pipes removed. Hang on - it's not yet 9 a.m. and my appointment is at 11. Oh well, nothing better to do. Except eat my breakfast which arrived just as we started trundling. My nurse (the other one) assured me that, if the breakfast was inedible by the time I got back, I could get a replacement.
I think the catheter removal was done in Florida as it took us forever to get there. Being a lazy slob, I lay back on the gurney and, when I bothered to open my eyes, was treated to an endless view of ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights as in all the TV hospital programs when they need to fill in time. I didn't have to stir off the gurney and, contrary to popular opinion, almost as much physical effort went towards getting the catheter out as had gone into it but this time no happy juice was involved. A needle that I swear was at least 6" long was used to anesthetise (hybrid US /UK spelling) and after a lot of yanking, the little bugger came out. Not a pleasant experience at all but the people who did it were delightful.
So, back to my room to pack. Step 1 - eat the lukewarm breakfast: actually not at all bad. Step 2 - start packing. This largely involved looking at piles of stuff and saying durr but at least I got the washing in a bag and most of my books and stuff in another one. Everyone wanted to give me detailed instructions about managing my diet and who know what else but I told them, correctly, that I would forget the lot by the time I got home. So we hung around until Susan arrived at 10:30 and they went through it with her. Time for a wheelchair while Susan went to pull the car up the front of the building. My wheelchair pusher didn't want me to be away from home for any longer than necessary so she loaded herself and me up with coats, pillows and bags and we headed for the front of the building. Not so fast! I have to stop to ring the bell before they will let me out. So quick photo op and the "Yay, he's fixed!" song from the assembled nurses and we were finally on our way.
The drive home was uneventful except for the idiot who got onto the freeway by driving up the off-ramp all while talking on her phone and now here I am, gazing out at our 2" of slowly meting snow and looking forward to sleeping in a rom without the light on. I will miss being woken up by pretty women in the middle of the night but I think I'll get over it.
Breakfast always takes a while to arrive so bags of time for an approximation to a shower.
Next thing I knew, there was a knock on the room door and a guy with a gurney arrived to take me down to have my pipes removed. Hang on - it's not yet 9 a.m. and my appointment is at 11. Oh well, nothing better to do. Except eat my breakfast which arrived just as we started trundling. My nurse (the other one) assured me that, if the breakfast was inedible by the time I got back, I could get a replacement.
I think the catheter removal was done in Florida as it took us forever to get there. Being a lazy slob, I lay back on the gurney and, when I bothered to open my eyes, was treated to an endless view of ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights as in all the TV hospital programs when they need to fill in time. I didn't have to stir off the gurney and, contrary to popular opinion, almost as much physical effort went towards getting the catheter out as had gone into it but this time no happy juice was involved. A needle that I swear was at least 6" long was used to anesthetise (hybrid US /UK spelling) and after a lot of yanking, the little bugger came out. Not a pleasant experience at all but the people who did it were delightful.
So, back to my room to pack. Step 1 - eat the lukewarm breakfast: actually not at all bad. Step 2 - start packing. This largely involved looking at piles of stuff and saying durr but at least I got the washing in a bag and most of my books and stuff in another one. Everyone wanted to give me detailed instructions about managing my diet and who know what else but I told them, correctly, that I would forget the lot by the time I got home. So we hung around until Susan arrived at 10:30 and they went through it with her. Time for a wheelchair while Susan went to pull the car up the front of the building. My wheelchair pusher didn't want me to be away from home for any longer than necessary so she loaded herself and me up with coats, pillows and bags and we headed for the front of the building. Not so fast! I have to stop to ring the bell before they will let me out. So quick photo op and the "Yay, he's fixed!" song from the assembled nurses and we were finally on our way.
The drive home was uneventful except for the idiot who got onto the freeway by driving up the off-ramp all while talking on her phone and now here I am, gazing out at our 2" of slowly meting snow and looking forward to sleeping in a rom without the light on. I will miss being woken up by pretty women in the middle of the night but I think I'll get over it.
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